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Sunday, June 21, 2015

Swinging 60s: Seniors seek love through speed-dating


Senior citizens tear down taboos at event that gives them a chance to find live-in partners 
Ankit.Ajmera @timesgroup.com 



    This Sunday started a little bit different for 61-year-old Naresh Engineer, a resident of Kandivali who runs a portfolio management consultancy. He took pains to shave, pull out a crisply starched and ironed white shirt and a pair of black trousers, polish his shoes and wear his favourite perfume. At 10 am sharp, he was at the Dadar-Matunga Cultural Centre to attend the Senior Citizens Jeevan Saathi Sammelan.

    The first of its kind event in Mumbai was organised by Ahmedabad-based NGO Vina Mulya Amulya Seva (VMAS), in association with Mumbai-based NGO Silver Inning Foundation and Rotary Club of Nariman Point. The event provided the options for marriageorlive-inrelationshipforseniorcitizens.

    Clinical psychologist Raheen Jummani said, “There is a lot of stigma attached to older people making a new beginning. This event gives them the space to interact openly with like-minded people.”

    “Such events are ideal for senior citizens who are lonely after death of their partners and are looking for some security. Live-in is a convenient option for those whose families may not agree to marriage because of property-related matters,” said advocate Namitabh Kothari, associated with the sammelan as legal advisor.

    The initiative received more than 700 calls, but the organisers could accommodate only 275 (200 men, 75 women) for the day, with average age between 67-70 years. Those who made it were given token numbers and were asked to present themselves in batches of 10 each on the stage.


    An announcer provided description of the candidate, including name, age, caste, income per month, hobbies and status (unmarried, widow/widower, divorced). Other members noted down the identification number of candidates they thought were compatible.Later,face-to-facemeetingswere arranged. 




    While most men sought companionship, financial security was the main concern for women. The fact that average salary of most men ranged between Rs 15,000-30,000 per month disappointed a lot of women.

    Nisha Barod (55), a divorcee and a fitness trainer, had come all the way from Baroda, Gujarat. “Most men I saw had paunches and didn’t earn even half as much as me (Rs 50,000 per month),” she said.

    Mulund resident Srinivas Nand (76) told MirrorthathedrewapensionofRs15,000per month. He used to work as assistant manager of quality control with the Food Corporation of India. He said, “At this age, I cannot fulfill the demands of a whimsical woman. I just want someone social, who is able to understand me.”

    Engineer was among the few who were earning more than a lakh per month. “She should complement my personality, should beintelligentandabletoadjustwithmythree daughters, who live abroad. After I retire, I mightwanttosettleabroadandsheshouldbe in agreement with that,” said Engineer.

    Sunetra Kulkarni (73), a resident of Mulund, lost her husband 25 years ago. “Money is not my criteria. I get a pension of Rs 12,000 per month. I just want a like-minded partner,” she said.

    Natubhai Patel (62) is the founder-chairmanofVMASandthebrainbehindtheinitiative. He has arranged more than 75 marriages and 25 live-in relationships through VMAS since it was established in Ahmedabad four yearsago.Attheendoftheevent,fourcouples decided to get together– three for marriage and one for live-in relationship. 


The event was organised by Mumbai Based NGO Silver Inning Foundation www.silverinnings.com 

Courtesy: http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Repository/ml.asp?Ref=TU1JUi8yMDEzLzA0LzA4I0FyMDEyMDA%3D